The perfume I carelessly threw away hid a secret that could have changed everything — but I found out too late

I envisioned our tenth year anniversary as a scene from a romantic movie, with sweet music playing in the background and a lot of laughter. My husband and I holding hands and celebrating all our achievements together. It was indeed a big deal when you think about it; ten years of ups and downs, love, fights, forgiving each other and then enjoying those little, ordinary days that eventually became our lives.

A few weeks prior to the celebration, I took some extra shifts at work in order to be able to get the perfect gift, a watch I knew he’d loved — elegant but understated.

I could still feel the happiness of the moment when I bought it, and that night after dinner, I finally gave him with the watch. My heart was filled with joy when he smiled while looking at it. Then he took a small bag that was sitting by his chair and handed it to me. It was a plastic bottle of perfume, the type that is usually found at the very end of the supermarket counter.

For a brief moment, I failed to hide the spark of disappointment. I told myself not to mind, that gifts were not what counted, but at the same time, I was sad because I expected more from him. It wasn’t the fragrance that was the issue, but rather his lack of effort.

Anyway, I

 

Once home, I put the perfume inside a drawer. I never even opened it, just placed it there, trying to forget about having it.

Three weeks later, my life suddenly changed. I lost my husband and my world turned upside down.

The watch I had given him was on the bedside table, still ticking. The perfume in my drawer was thus still there, a silent witness to the last time we celebrated anything together. I simply could not look at it without a sharp stab of remorse. I could see the disappointment in myself as I stood so silent.

Oh, if I could turn back the time to that night just to hold his hand and truly enjoy the moment before it was gone. But sadly enough, grieving does not have a rewind button. It just takes away the words you didn’t say, and what you will never get the chance to say again.